Washington finally got some firepower back with Deebo Samuel and Terry McLaurin returning, but without Jayden Daniels under center, it didn’t matter much. The offense sputtered like a bad teaser bet.

If Week 8 taught us anything, it’s that the NFL is just one giant parlay — equal parts brilliance, heartbreak, and “who the hell bet on that?” Let’s break it down, sportsbook-style.

The Miami Dolphins are in shambles, and not just because they’re 0–whatever after forgetting how to football. No, the real tragedy is that Tyreek Hill — proud father of, let’s be honest, probably an entire Pop Warner league by now — is hurt. And that means more than missing deep routes.

The calendar may say late August, but forget pumpkin spice and back-to-school shopping—true fans know the real most wonderful time of the year kicks off this week. That’s right, College Gameday is back, baby.