Predicting Which Fired NFL Head Coach Ends Up on The Masked Singer

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2 days ago
3 min read

The NFL offseason has arrived — that magical time when coaches get fired, buy extremely expensive coffee, and suddenly have a lot of free Tuesdays.

Some go to TV.Some go to consulting.Some say they’re “spending time with family.”

And a select few?They absolutely end up on The Masked Singer.

Let’s break down which fired NFL head coaches are most likely to show up in an unhinged costume, emotionally singing their way through unemployment.

🐬 Mike McDaniel

Masked Singer Probability: 6/10Costume: Sad Dolphin in Capri PantsSong Choice: “Hurt” – Johnny Cash

Mike McDaniel feels like a guy who’d say no publicly… and then show up anyway because he thought it’d be funny.

The dolphin costume fits. The awkward dancing fits. The emotional vulnerability? Extremely on-brand.

He wouldn’t sing well — but he’d sing honestly. And the judges would say things like,

“You can really feel the journey.”

They’d be wrong, but polite.

🦅 John Harbaugh

Masked Singer Probability: 3/10Costume: Stoic Eagle KnightSong Choice: “My Way” – Frank Sinatra

Harbaugh wouldn’t want to do it.But if his agent told him it was good for “brand control,” he’d reluctantly agree.

He wouldn’t dance.He wouldn’t joke.He would sing directly into the camera like he’s challenging it to a duel.

Gets eliminated immediately. Leaves with dignity.

🐦 Jonathan Gannon (Cardinals)

Masked Singer Probability: 7/10Costume: Desert Falcon with AnxietySong Choice: “Everybody Hurts” – R.E.M.

Jonathan Gannon would lean fully into the drama.

Heavy breathing between lyrics. Long pauses. A backstory about believing in the process.

Judges love him. America is confused.He lasts three rounds purely on vibes.

🦅 Raheem Morris (Falcons)

Masked Singer Probability: 5/10Costume: Phoenix Rising (But Like… Budget Version)Song Choice: “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”

Raheem Morris is charismatic enough to pull it off — the question is whether he needs to.

He’d bring energy, smile through the pain, and clap after his own performance like a motivational speaker at a Marriott ballroom.

Solid mid-season contestant. Goes out respectfully.

🐶 Kevin Stefanski (Browns)

Masked Singer Probability: 2/10Costume: Corporate BulldogSong Choice: “The Sound of Silence”

Stefanski does not want attention.He does not want sequins.He does not want to explain his feelings.

If he ends up on the show, it’s because he lost a bet or his wife signed him up.

Eliminated immediately. Relieved.

🏴‍☠️ Pete Carroll (Raiders)

Masked Singer Probability: 9/10Costume: Pirate Parrot on a SkateboardSong Choice: “Don’t Stop Believin’”

Pete Carroll is absolutely doing this.

He’s dancing. He’s clapping. He’s chewing gum aggressively under the mask. He’s yelling encouragement at the audience.

He makes it way too far.Everyone knows it’s him by episode two.Nobody cares.

America roots for him anyway.

🏈 Brian Callahan (Titans – Midseason Firing)

Masked Singer Probability: 8/10Costume: Titan Who’s Just Happy to Be HereSong Choice: “Life Is a Highway”

Midseason firing guys are the most dangerous Masked Singer contestants.

They’re unfiltered. They’re emotional. They’re unemployed.

Callahan would treat every performance like a second interview and cry after the judges give feedback.

Fan favorite energy.

🗽 Brian Daboll (Giants – Midseason Firing)

Masked Singer Probability: 10/10Costume: Angry Blue Giant with FeelingsSong Choice: “I Will Survive”

Daboll is not just doing the show — he’s winning it.

He’s loud. He’s passionate. He’s yelling at the band for missing cues. He takes the mask off and stares directly into the camera like he just beat Philly in January.

This is therapeutic. This is art.