What Would Santa’s Favorite Casino Game Be? (And Why He’d Probably Get Banned)

Safe Online Gambling
Dec 23, 2025
3 min read

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — which means Santa Claus is making lists, checking them twice, and somehow still finding time to gamble like the rest of us.

But if Santa walked into a casino, what game would actually be his favorite? Let’s break it down game by game, because the man has immortal energy, questionable decision-making, and zero poker face.

🎲 Poker: Absolutely Not (HR Complaint Waiting to Happen)

Poker would be a disaster for Santa.

First problem: no poker face. You always know when he’s jolly. Always. That’s not festive — that’s a tell.

Second problem: Santa’s famous for checking things twice. Casinos call that card counting. Security calls that “sir, please come with us.”

By the third hand, he’s smiling too hard, whispering “ho ho ho,” and getting escorted out while insisting he’s “just making sure the deck is nice.”

Verdict: ❌ Banned by the second shuffle.

🎰 Blackjack: Same Problem, Different Sweater

Blackjack sounds promising. Simple rules. Math-friendly. A classic.

Unfortunately:

Santa can’t stop counting
He insists on double-checking everything
And he absolutely explains his strategy out loud

“Now if I hit on sixteen… ho ho… no no… better check again…”

Congratulations, Santa. You just explained basic strategy to the pit boss.

Verdict: ❌ Kicked out politely, with a coupon for the buffet.

🎡 Roulette: Too Inclusive for Its Own Good

Roulette is flashy, fun, and full of excitement — but Santa hates one thing more than naughty kids:

Anyone feeling left out.

He refuses to bet on a single number because:

“What if 17 feels bad?”
“We should give 32 a chance too.”
“Every number deserves magic.”

So he spreads his bets so thin that even when he wins, he somehow still loses money.

Verdict: ❌ Lost bankroll, gained emotional fulfillment.

🎰 Slot Machines: Elves Are Not OSHA Certified

Slot machines should be Santa’s thing. Flashy lights. Fun sounds. Pure vibes.

But here’s the issue:The elves built them.

Too many moving parts.Too many jingles. At least one machine explodes into candy canes.

Plus Santa keeps trying to “improve” them by making every spin a winner, which — shockingly — is bad for business.

Verdict: ❌ Machine malfunction, North Pole investigation pending.

🎲 Craps: Too Loud, Too Chaotic, Too Many Humans

Craps is social, exciting, and loud — which Santa likes.

But:

Everyone’s yelling
Dice are flying
Someone named “Big Tony” keeps calling him “Red”

Santa thrives on order, not table chaos fueled by three Red Bulls and a prayer.

Verdict: ❌ Overstimulated, retreats to sleigh.

🛷 Santa’s Real Move: Gambling Online From the Sleigh

Here’s the truth no one talks about:

Santa is busy.He’s global.And he hates pants.

That’s why Santa would almost definitely stick to online gambling, conveniently played right from the sleigh between chimney stops.

For sports betting and casino action, Santa would absolutely fire up Bovada Casino — because nothing says holiday cheer like placing a bet while airborne over Ohio.

👉 Check out Bovada Casino here:https://record.revenuenetwork.com/_Hvu09Pm09d9izwiyCgdjD2Nd7ZgqdRLk/1/

And when Santa just wants to relax without the pressure of full-blown casino intensity, he’d lean into sweepstakes-style gaming on sites like:

No stress. No pit bosses. No elves unionizing mid-spin.