🏈 If the People Who Rank College Football Teams Ranked… Literally Everything Else

Every week, the college football rankings drop and America collectively screams, “HOW? WHY? WHO DID THIS?”Ohio State, Indiana, and Texas A&M sitting pretty at 1–2–3? Georgia losing to Bama and moving up? Alabama losing to Oklahoma and falling below Notre Dame — who has beaten exactly one ranked team all year.

Whoever is making these rankings is not just unpredictable… they’re operating on a higher plane of existence. A frightening one.A chaotic one.A “Texas Tech is now No. 5 because we felt like it” one.

So naturally, we hired these geniuses to rank everything else in life.

Brace yourselves.

🎬 Top Movies of All Time

According to the committee:

🥇 Transformers: Age of Extinction

A masterpiece. Cinema at its peak. Shakespeare is shaking. Scorsese is crying. Michael Bay is ascending.

🥈 A Good Day to Die Hard

The best Die Hard film, according to these people. Which tells you everything you need to know about this committee’s trauma, taste, and possibly their brain chemistry.

🍝 Best Pasta Dishes

The committee has spoken. And we regret asking.

🥇 Easy Mac

“It’s elite because it’s microwavable.” – committee notes, probably.

🥈 Unseasoned Ramen

Not the good stuff. Not the flavorful stuff. Just the sad, plain noodles you eat during breakups and college finals.Apparently Michelin-star tier.

⚔️ Greatest Military Mind

Step aside, Hannibal. Move over Sun Tzu. Napoleon? Never heard of him.

🥇 General George Armstrong Custer

Nothing says “strategic genius” like leading your men into the most avoidable L in U.S. military history .The committee insists this was a “quality loss.”

🎮 Best Video Games Available Today

The committee has a type: games that launched in flames.

🥇 (tie) Battlefield 2042

🥇 (tie) Fallout 76

Both were considered “bold pioneering works in making gamers extremely angry.”Perfectly rated 10/10.

🧀 Best Cheese

Surely the committee can’t screw this one up, right? Right?

🥇 Spray Cheese

“Complex flavor profile. Aerodynamic.”

🥈 Gouda

Pronounced by the committee as “Good Ass Cheese,” which honestly is the first correct thing they’ve said.

🏆 Next Walter Payton Man of the Year Award

This is where the committee takes a hard, sharp left turn into pure chaos.

Co-Winners:

• Aaron Hernandez

• O.J. Simpson

“No explanation provided.”Probably for the best.

📝 Final Thoughts

So there you have it — the same mysterious forces ranking Ohio State No. 1 for existing and Georgia No. 4 for losing have now given us a blueprint for the worst timeline.

If these folks ever get put in charge of the Oscars, Emmys, Grammys, or federal infrastructure? We’re finished.

So maybe don't bet on who is going to be ranked. Instead, head to Bovada or spin the reels over at Reel Lucky U, Play Sweeps Now Casino, and Sweepstakes Online